Why I Kept My Pregnancy A Secret

Hi every person! A few months ago, I gave birth to Baby A. Some of you might have asked yourself if you had missed my news on my maternity. The fact is that I really did not publish concerning my maternity anywhere, choosing to keep the information a secret.

In total amount, Ken as well as I only shared it with my dad and also my in-laws, and also a pick group of very friends. Why I Kept My Pregnancy A Secret The factor was that I merely desired the individual room to concentrate on my maternity.

For a while, I had actually been really feeling boxed in by my culture. From the undetectable pressure to have kids, to the countless taboos for expectant ladies, I felt trapped by the many expectations of my society, many of which did not reverberate with me.

So after I obtained wed, I felt pressured when loved ones began asking me when I was going to have kids, when I had actually hardly settled right into my marriage. My solution of “I’ve not chosen if I desired youngsters” produced unpleasant conversation as it did not fit the picture of a dutiful Chinese female, as well as people would certainly maintain pressurizing me to have kids when I had currently made my viewpoint clear. I would certainly change from feelings of guilt to frustration as I dealt with locating the “best” solution to their inquiries while being sincere with myself.

Before I determined to have kids, I began to obtain pregnancy recommendations in the type of very restrictive Chinese taboos from one of my sister-in-laws. The situation was specifically awkward as I had told her prior to that I had not decided if I wanted kids, yet advising her about this was futile as she combed away my comment, stating that it didn’t matter as she was preparing me for the future. I would certainly sit for two hrs as I obtained a starter’s overview to the world of very restrictive Chinese pregnancy taboos, from not using the scissors (or your kid would certainly have a cleft lip), to not eating bananas (or you would have a losing the unborn baby), to not having dabble eyes (as they might house spirits). While I had come across several of these taboos prior to from my pregnant pals (one of them was unable to purchase bananas as no fruit vendor would certainly market them to her), this was the very first time I was hearing them in detail, and I understood that they were the begin of even more to come if I were to determine to have children.

So when Ken as well as I made a decision to have children last year and I became pregnant, I determined that it was finest if( a) we didn’t share the news with any person, as well as( b) we only share the information with chosen

individuals when I was ready. I understood that sharing the news would certainly lead to an influx of unrequested recommendations, that, while well-intended, would certainly be normally unhelpful and fear-based as it would be based on old wives’ stories. Second of all, Chinese maternities have a tendency to receive extreme analysis as everybody integrates over the mom with constraints on what she should do/not do, ranging from rational to entirely illogical. These restrictions tend to be negative, frustrating, as well as fairly honestly, wearing down to take care of as you have to follow policy after regulation just to appease the elders. Refraining from doing so would result in excessive worry on their end, while you would be consistently slammed and also advised of the effects (slit lip, miscarriage, infant being born unsightly, etc) should you not follow them.

As I really felt that my priority should be to make sure a smooth maternity, not to lessen others’ anxieties, I decided to keep my pregnancy a secret as well as concentrate on what required to be done. Considered that maternity is one of one of the most vulnerable stages of a lady’s life, with several modifications occurring to her body, the last thing I wanted was intense analysis of my activities. What I needed was a safe room to support my infant.

For my entire maternity, we only shared the information with my father and Ken’s moms and dads, as well as later on with selected close good friends towards the end of my term. Every person else just recognized post-birth. For during, I made certain to maintain an inconspicuous (which wasn’t that challenging as I’ve been living a subtle life for the past couple of years), and also maintained social meetups to a minimum.

My Pregnancy Journey

Maintaining my pregnancy a secret offered me a lot of mental alleviation, and the peaceful room to concentrate on it. I spent the majority of my leisure time outside of work reading write-ups, research study studies, and pregnancy discussion forums to learn more about various other mamas’ experiences.

As I consume a vegan diet regimen, I adhered to vegan pregnancy teams, in addition to normal pregnancy teams, to obtain information pertaining to a vegan pregnancy.

After much research study, I recognized that I desired an all-natural birth without intervention, as well as discovered an excellent gynae to help me achieve that. Ken and also I took a training course to inform ourselves on babycare, birthing, and also breastfeeding (which in retrospection didn’t truly prepare us wherefore was ahead), and also I did a lot of reading up online.

Food & & Nutrition Throughout my pregnancy, I consumed a nutrient-dense vegan diet plan with a solid focus on vegetables as well as fruits.

I really did not consume much during my first trimester due to nausea or vomiting (mine begun at week 6 and also lasted till week 11), and also endured extremely bad bloating which just boosted in the 2nd trimester. In total amount, I shed 2kg (4.4 lbs) during this moment.

As I developed extremely bad acne throughout my pregnancy, I recognized, with an elimination procedure, that the most effective diet regimen where I wouldn’t have any kind of acne is an oil-free, allergen-free, HCLF (high-carb low-fat) vegan diet regimen. As almost every food marketed today has some type of oil or allergen (like soy), I had to discover to prepare my own meals (something that I disliked doing in the past), as well as at some point established easy recipes that I might adopt also on a busy routine. I would certainly continue to eat by doing this post-birth and also I consider this of my finest benefits from my pregnancy (besides Baby An obviously)!

My favored early morning treat: Vegan Banana and Berries Ice Cream Sorbet (made by blending frozen banana and combined berries). Easy to make, unbelievably scrumptious. I would certainly follow this with whatever fruits are in the kitchen.

One of my lunch treats: Baked Potatoes, Brussel Sprouts, Asparagus( Vegan, no oil)

Another lunch snack: Quinoa salad with veggies of the day (Vegan, No Oil )

Dinner: Tomato pasta with mushroom and also spinach, plus pumpkin( Vegan, no oil )Weight & Exercise Throughout my nine-month term, I only got 5 kg (11 lbs) despite consuming heartily on a daily basis (!). If you take into consideration that I lost 2 kg (4.4 lbs) during my initial trimester, after that I really got 7 kg (15.4 lbs) baby-wise.

While I was at first very concerned as it is below the weight gain of a normal pregnancy (12-15kg or 25-35 lbs), I later on understood that this is merely a standard and is not a target to hit if (a) you’re already consuming healthy, (b) you’re not attempting to slim down, and (c) your baby is growing great and every little thing is going well with your pregnancy. Depending on  the standards you look at, a female does not require to consume even more calories in her very first 2 trimesters, only an added 200 calories each day in her last trimester,  and also it’s more vital that she consumes a nutrient-dense diet. I went down to my pre-pregnancy weight right after birth (57 kg or 126 pounds; I’m 1.7 m or 5 ′ 7 ″), and also I credit this entirely to eating a spick-and-span diet plan during my term.

As swimming is a terrific workout for pregnant females, I swam 2X a week from the center of my second trimester leading up to birth, for concerning 30-40 mins each time.


The only supplements I took were folate (a couple of weeks prior to I obtained expectant and also for the very first 4 months of my term), B12, and EPA/DHA, of which the latter 2 I typically take as a vegan anyhow. I didn’t take any prenatals as (a) I would burst out when doing so, despite completely natural ones, and (b) unless you have a deficiency, prenatal vitamins are truly unnecessary as well as it’s more important to eat a nutrient-dense diet regimen instead.

I likewise did not take calcium supplements which are regularly provided to pregnant females. If you research this area, you’ll locate that there is conflict surrounding calcium supplements, where researchers have located that taking calcium supplements may increase the danger of plaque accumulation in arteries and heart damages.Instead, I concentrated on consuming calcium with my diet, which is really the most effective way to absorb calcium rather than via supplements.

Screening Tests

Ken and I knew Baby A’s gender by the end of our 3rd month as we took the Harmony Test, an examination generally offered from Week 10 to examine for fetal irregularities. The other frequently offered test is the Oscar Test.

The Harmony Test has a 99.9% accuracy rate and also allows you know the child’s sex, while the Oscar examination has a 80% accuracy rate and also doesn’t examine for the gender. The former is considerably more pricey, at 3-4 times the price of the latter (the costs rely on your facility; in general the Oscar Test begins with S$ 300 or US$ 200 while the Harmony Test begins with S$ 1,000 or US$ 700).

As I read about moms and dads that did the Oscar Test as well as had unneeded scares as a result of false positives (after which they needed to invest extra money to take the Harmony Test), as well as I was 34 years old then (maternities over 35 tend to have even more threats of chromosomal concerns), we decided to take the Harmony Test to avoid guesswork and to understand the sex in advance. All the results were normal.

The other significant screening we did was the 5-month anomaly check, a common mid-pregnancy scan to inspect your child’s advancement and to check for any development abnormalities. Every little thing was normal also, though my amniotic fluid index (AFI) was on the reduced end (yet still within normal variety), so I made it an indicate swim routinely as well as consume lots of water daily afterwards (both are immediate ways to enhance your AFI. I additionally had reciprocal notching which my gynae claimed is not unusual and was absolutely nothing to fret about (and he’s right as everything advanced generally).

Throughout my maternity, I did not have gestational diabetes mellitus, blood pressure problems, or preeclampsia, which can be common in the 3rd trimester, and I credit a huge part of this to consuming a healthy diet plan.

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