The fact that each person is individual in nature, known to all. People’s differences are noticeable even specialist – someone who likes to be in the company, to attend meetings and to work in a team. And someone, on the contrary, prefers solitude, thinks a lot and can’t stand the noise around him. And so different people still manage to live together, to create a strong family! Everything is quite simple – you need to learn to distinguish the introvert from the extrovert and know the emotional background of each of them.
Are constantly in the thick of things, prefer active leisure, make decisions quickly, Express themselves easily, always focused on results – it’s all about extroverts. To recognize them very easy, they literally gush with their energy and absolutely can’t do any one thing carefully and for a long time. Such people are very comfortable in the atmosphere of constant action, they never feel tired of chatting.
Sometimes people with these type openly about fatigue and desire to rest from everything, but it’s a fleeting statement. Even if extroverts need privacy to work with documents, a certain time to drop everything and go out to the people, go to coffee, talk with colleagues, walk to the shops.
Extroverts never combine such things as breadth and depth – we are not talking about mathematical values. The fact that extroverts prefer in their teaching, for example, to cover as many areas as possible, but don’t go in any of them. When talking or collaboration is quite easy it turns out – tops knowledge these people have, they know what it is, but if you ask a couple of questions about the topic, the answer is unlikely to be given.
Introverts – “calm, just calm”
Introverts – the thinkers. They prefer solitude, they feel alone: you can reflect on past, plan things, set priorities. Such people are not afraid of difficulties, but if they are going to do multiple cases, it leads to panic, the introvert begins to be annoyed, angry.
Introverts, by the way, also communicate with people, not hermits. But it describes the type of people trying to keep contact to a minimum, even with close friends and relatives they have short-term meeting – introverts feel a burning desire to be alone just half an hour of rapid communication.
Unlike extroverts, introverts any to study the subject deeply. They are not interested in breadth of knowledge – they possess knowledge in just one area, but this knowledge will be as complete as possible. The mind of introverts constantly “recycles” the impressions received, analyzes the acquired experience. And, just impressions of such people is limited, they prefer to “savor” each of them, while the extrovert is quickly bored and he will literally pass for new.
Extrovert and introvert: features and differences
If you group all of the above, it is possible to highlight the main differences between an extrovert and an introvert.
- likes variety, continuity of its depressing;
- quickly finds common language with people and can talk for a long time even with the unfamiliar individuals;
- loves to be in the thick of things, literally charged with energy during rapidly conducted hours;
- more inclined to talk, listen to almost doesn’t know how;
- has many friends and considers all real friends;
- eagerly accepted the new job, but his desire may be quickly exhausted if it appeared on the horizon the prospect of something new;
- speaks and acts first, and then just starts to think and analyze;
- a very energetic person.
- relax, unwind prefers in a very narrow circle of friends or even alone;
- after any activity needs to rest, even if it were entertainment;
- first carefully considering all and only after that something speaks or acts;
- friends at it is very small – only those people, who managed to build a relationship of trust;
- always calm and even-tempered, loves to observe everything and everyone;
- doesn’t like to feel rushed.
Introvert and extrovert – how to get along?
Often families are created between two different people and, of course, the question arises whether it is possible to get them? If we can find “common ground”? Psychologists say that everything is real, if you understand the essence of extrovert/introvert and create favorable conditions for them.
First, for the introvert it is necessary to allocate a place in the house/apartment where he can be alone, even if it alone will be conditional (we are talking about small areas of real estate, when to equip a separate room is not possible). But the extrovert that privacy is not necessary – it is necessary to listen, maintain a dialogue with him.
Another important factor is praise: the extrovert needs it, even for a regular wash it is necessary to “give a medal”, but the introvert would react calmly to subtle and appropriate praise, the praises and glorification of him are annoying he will feel the insincerity and digs in.
Secondly, you should know that extroverts think while you talk. That is, for making a decision they did not need much time – quickly talked it over and decided. An introvert will sit to think, to analyze, to plan and assess risks. He needs time for decision-making, and to rush such a person is completely useless, it will only make him irritable.
If the spouse is an introvert, then talk to him/her about any upcoming events in advance – this will enable him/her to be smart about this and make a decision or to react to the news calmly. Do not immediately demand an answer from him, nothing good will come of it. By the way, this moment is often the reason family quarrel – one spouse thinks that he does not want to share their thoughts and introvert perceives the situation as torture.
Third, it is necessary to know the characteristic of the introvert to focus on any one thing. If an introvert is busy with some task, even a trivial request to open the door can lead to a “disaster”. If the introvert is distracted, it is quite difficult then to get back to work, it loses the “thread of thought” and spend even more time to restore your calm state.
In the family between introvert and extrovert, should be understanding in such things as inviting guests into the house. If the extrovert it will be celebration, joy and energy, the introvert is likely to become even more introverted. But this does not mean you have to deprive yourself of the joy of communicating with friends or relatives! Just an introvert will periodically retire to another room to calm – let this be his little whim, it is not necessary to dwell on this.
It is important that the couple realized the situation, took her in. For example, a mother on maternity leave expecting her husband home from work and wants to talk to him – she, the extrovert, bored. And my husband is an introvert wants to be alone, to gather my thoughts, to get used to the change of environment (office/home). It is not necessary to do from this tragedy – the mother may experience from a visit to friend in fitness club or shopping.
Please note: in no case do not try to alter the spouse! Person-an extrovert will never become an introvert, but scandals can not be avoided.
Interesting fact: many disorders in the family happen because of the confrontation between extrovert and introvert. For example, the husband preferring friends and companies likely just haven’t found a common language with his wife introvert. Or, on the contrary, the husband is an introvert immersed in a virtual world to only be in his inner world, fenced off from importunate wife is the extrovert.
Only understanding, focus and desire to provide each other good time will allow you to save the marriage between an extrovert and an introvert.
Yana Aleksandrovna Tsygankova, medical columnist, the therapist of the highest qualification category