Painful breakup is probably the most frequent issue that people come to consultations by various specialists (inferior unless painful relationships or lack thereof). The modern culture of parenting, unfortunately, pays unjustifiably little attention to the preparations for the beginning of a relationship and a family, what can we expect from separation.
The “culture” of breakups in our society on the scale of the actions, experiences and lack any ethics and developed the algorithm of behavior – something between a civil war and death. And this situation exists long enough, just today, the disease of the soul start to move in the acute stage.
If you examine the history of the majority of Russian (and not only) families, we can see that the topic is a sensitive breakup is relevant not only for our generation but for the previous few, only they were a little quieter and sometimes without traveling in a separate area.
Parents like together but not together. Like a family, but not family. Like the family peace, but this a cold world, and I don’t know if he’s as good as an open battle… breaking up with scandals and abuse – this is indelicate, but openly, and it is clear what is happening, and when, like, live together, smile or even parted, but smiling, but at heart this type of anger and hatred – it’s not painful, and ugly.
And could there be a breakup between two people is beautiful…? Probably can, but why to separate two loving people? You started as one who has ceased to love or never loved, then you need to have a big heart, good sense of tact and human compassion to leaving the place where you love and want to continue the relationship, to leave the heat on which you are capable to repay debts and to serve man as long as his heart is not calm down.
Painful breakup start from unknowingly entering a relationship. The true problem is not really a healthy start of the relationship, not their completion. A painful breakup is just a consequence of the unconscious beginning naberezhnogo continue.
Deep heart love quietly, moving closer slowly, in no hurry to change one another, because who lives nearby, sees God’s will, not their own choice. And if God made man in a couple, where to go? It turns out to make money or not, the children come into the family or not, like relatives or not, have a place to live or not, what does it matter if you have chosen to serve the highest sense by those to whom life sends your way. But for all this, of course, requires spiritual maturity.
An abundance of esoteric literature in the modern information space leads to the fact that many of us have the illusion of omnipotence. The repetition of words about unconditional love taken for the introduction of the skill, although in most cases a beautiful concept of detachment conceals a deep fear of intimacy, fear to let you in close enough to take the risk to be either accepted or rejected, here is the whole detachment.
From the words on the attachment to true non-attachment is the path to a lifetime, and maybe more than one. In true detachment, you will never hurt another person, justifying it with their “broadcasterset” and not enough high-level understanding of the world of your partner.
Without a serious approach to the relationship, without the awareness of his duty and responsibility to everyone who get closer, there can be no painless compounds and subsequent separation. Most breaks are very painful, in such moments, there is a mutual splattering of pain – what remains is where the heart is not had time to grow to the required size.
From insensitive costs-divorce parents children close the hearts, the endless negative details about the “bad” father or mother in the soul of the children until they get older that’s afraid to start a family, in order not to repeat the same scenario, but it is repeated.
More often it is repeated in your relationship, and exactly repeats until then, until you decide to take responsibility for your own happiness and begins to move in depth, healing all the hidden trauma. And Yes, I must say that the presence of relationships, family and children is not in itself a guarantee of a long and happy life. To live is possible and in the same area, in the same family.
Do not part. More precisely, not so. Not come together until, until you receive a Mature decision to be in this relationship until the end, determined by life, not you, until you feel strong enough to respect that decision.
And if it so happens that there are no forces to remain close, tried all ways and still decided to leave, do it so delicately and carefully towards the heart of another human being, how it would be possible for you.
During separation we need to think not about what I feel, and that is going through a loved one. Don’t go from one to another, it is ugly and very painful for those who remain. Try to pause.
Just try to leave the relationship to yourself, and just be in solitude, time alone, time away from each other. Allow to complete the processes, the reason for which you began your loved one. To repay debts to those who have served you for years, who loved, who gave good moments, who made you the center of his life.
They say that everything always comes back – the pain we are experiencing may come back to us for some reason from the distant past, maybe she has come that we have lived this lesson and learned something valuable.
And the pain that we caused another person, it will come back one day to us, but will probably big surprise. Hard times come when we least expect them. Take care of those next.