Not every person are able to see manipulation and even direct violence by a loved one.
All because of “suppression” starts quietly and gradually progresses. The woman in this situation is “frog in boiling water” getting used to such things.
But, unfortunately, to identify potential new Beau tyrant from the very first days and even months of Dating is not always possible. Such people are perfectly able to disguise themselves and behave differently in different situations.
Do not think that a typical tyrant, unbalanced, vicious type. Outside the family circle can be described as a good friend, a professional in the business and a nice man.
How at the earliest stages to understand that you are “toxic” relationship with the aggressor, or not to let such a person in your life?
Control
Your sweetheart is watching how and what you dress, who you meet and where do I go? He is constantly calling you, explaining this concern? You can assume this behavior is romantic, but note that this concern – alarming bell. This is a reflection of possessiveness.
Please note that in these cases, is the reason for such behavior. The owner was more interested in the potential opponents, not your health and well-being. Sometimes jealous does not even hide it.
After all, jealousy is a form of control, driven to obsessive-compulsive disorder. No matter how you try to prove the purity of their intentions, this disease will progress further, eventually reaching the point of absurdity.
Manipulation
The aggressor always sets the conditions favorable only to him. However, he can not get their only threats. He can “put pressure on the pity”, to lie, to bring illogical arguments to prove their innocence. His task is to make it so that you obeyed his will.
It is possible that he was not satisfied with some contradictions between you, but he does not intend to compromise. Moreover, the contradictions are often in your desire to have an opinion and the right to personal (individual) life.
Often instead of requests in the course are outright bans. As soon as it comes to bans – draw your own conclusions. No one has the right to ban anything capable person, if it considers it so.
Note also how often you give in. Have you ever had to give up some important ideas, aspirations and desires that were a priority for you before meeting with her lover?
Insulation
Your partner criticizes your family, stops to chat with them? Why did he not like your friends, acquaintances and even relatives?
This way your partner trying to set you up negatively against them or, if this fails, blackmail prohibit you to communicate at all. The aggressor is trying to deprive you of reliable support from those you care about, making you even more dependent and unable to assess the situation.
Frequent change of mood
Your partner is hot-tempered and overly emotional? In a fit of anger he may offend you in an empty place, and then long to apologize. It is not necessary to seek the causes and conduct of psychoanalysis. Most likely, with other people he respects or fears (e.g., bosses), he will not behave this way.
In any case decide for yourself whether you want to be a vessel for draining the negative emotions. There are other, more serious signs and potential aggressor, which it is possible to calculate immediately.
The characteristics of the aggressor
No doubt his refusal of a relationship with a man, which is characterized by at least one of the following symptoms:
Immediately run if…
1. A propensity for violence. Physical violence is unacceptable in principle, regardless of gender, age or nationality. If your partner shows his “handsy” towards someone, you shouldn’t hope that one day he will use force against you.
The same is true commitment to the radical ideas that support violence.
If the partner still hit you, walk away, no matter what romantic exploits for forgiveness, a situation will definitely happen again.
2. Cruelty to animals. Relations with the outright sadist, enjoying the power over the defenseless creature, will not bring anything good to any adequate person.
3. Hatred and contempt for women. In this case, it is naive to believe that your lover will treat you any differently, even if he claims that you are “special.” After some time he might come to a different conclusion about your “features”, no matter how you tried to show their best side.
If he follows the rule of “women can not be beat”, it is not a guarantee that you are protected from physical violence. These units in themselves do not mean anything and is easily supplemented in the mind of the rapist various exceptions, including in the definition of “real woman”.
4. Alcohol or drugs. Under the influence of drugs the person changes to unrecognizability. And even if sober he makes a positive impression, do not forget that there are times when he can be extremely aggressive towards others, especially loved ones.
5. The refusal to accept failure. Seriously think about it, if your “no” means nothing to your partner. Perseverance is appropriate anywhere except the relations between the two partners, respecting feelings and desires to each other.
And finally, always remember that sacrifices for the good of the relationship should be mutual. Don’t waste time on those who requires you too much. Surround yourself with only those people with whom you feel comfortable and relaxed, because only with them is not afraid of any life difficulties.
