Remember the old joke: the son with his head down stretches the father’s diary, with the two singing. Father resignedly says: “Well, as now then are you going to live?”
Dear parents, do not scold the child for “unsatisfactory” is the deuce to you and your student academic failure – primarily your problem, not his. Bad ratings in the diary saying that you something is not right! Try to find mistakes and gaps in education, fix them, and only then your child will begin to learn, and you get a 5 on education.
Psychologists say that the causes of underachievement of pupils, are most often not a lack of abilities and are not lazy. This child’s behavior, in psychology called secondary gain. And if by the end of the first semester your child fell into the category of slow learners, you should consult with the school Counsellor, how you can fix the situation.
Causes of failure of school – psychologist’s advice to parents:
* Here is a typical example. In the family twin boys parents fought a lot, so children in first grade have started a kind of competition: who is the worst student, and he will win. Mom and dad had the house to engage with each in different rooms, and the showdown between them they have no choice. So the boys decided the task is more important than study. Therefore, the practice shows that if only the parents to solve their problems, so once the children begin to learn better.
* Some children get bad grades on purpose in order to bring attention to moms and dads, lost after the birth of her second child, as is often the case. They create situations that parents are forced to literally keep an eye on them: check lessons, working together, etc. Think you have enough attention, warmth and affection you give your child? Maybe he feels lonely and useless?
* Have children – pronounced leaders. He came to school, they tend to be around the best, and when does it start to misbehave. The main thing for them – in whatever was to draw attention to themselves. What to do in this case? To take teacher as an ally. Ask that the teacher often praised him for his good deeds, ignore the small things and for large severely punished. And for the ones and twos let himself blush in the office of the Director or head teacher and not mom. Feeling personal responsibility, a little ambitious to get back to reality.
* Another reason of underachievement students is the reluctance to grow up. This often happens in families where parents spend too much time and come home very tired and irritable. Any discontent children sensitively catch all the problems moms and dads associated with their status as adults. The child just needs to hear a phrase like “grow – know” or “that’s going to work – you will understand” and he will be protected from future adult “horror stories”. If your family has a similar situation, try not to splash out negative emotions on the child and not keep the student from serious conversations about their problems.
It would be better to caress the kid, to talk to him heart to heart, and explain simply and clearly the advantages of adulthood. Example: as an adult, he can choose the food, clothing, plan their Affairs, to travel, to give loved ones gifts… You need to explain that quality of life depends on education. If you manage to interest the child in something that is directly related to his success in school, then he will learn well.
* Particularly difficult to study children who did not attend kindergarten. It is difficult to respect the day, they do not know how to work in a team. For these children school – daily stress, and the higher the stress level, the worse the performance.
Causes of failure of school – psychologist’s advice to parents:
And some tips psychologists for the education of children, underachieving at school:
If you want to be in the student’s diary was only good grades, remember the three pillars of success: work child, your time and patience. In any case you can not yell at a child not reward the offensive epithets. It will not bring any benefit, and his self esteem will drop even more.
Your main task is to: psychologically support the child, to approve, to encourage, to show that you believe in his power. Often say the phrase “don’t worry, you can.”
When homework your immediate help should be minimal. The child must understand this from the very beginning of their studies. Tell him that will help him deal with a very difficult task, and the rest he must do himself. If parents systematically doing the lessons with the child, then he gradually used his problems to pass on to others. And it becomes a powerful brake on the development of intelligence. Student, on “family tug” is gradually losing the initiative and the ability to fight for good grades. And every day it will be harder to learn on your own.
You should also not show excessive concern about the failure or the success of their child. Will you remember: you wanted to be loved not for good grades and behavior, but themselves? Children must feel it and then you and they will succeed!
