Attention can be attracted in different ways: extravagant dress; not behave like others; to Express ideas contrary to public opinion, but you can do it all effortlessly – just be offended! The effect is the same: everyone at some time will pay attention to you and the family will actively try to get you out of this state.
Therefore, we can assume: touchy people are actually not as simple as it seems! They will be considered weak, insecure, vulnerable, and few people dare to think, what is really at the heart of their behavior is basic selfishness.
As proof here are the facts: any offense always revolves around the pronoun “I“! As usual talks touchy people? “I was noticed“, “I was ignored“, “I did not answer“, “don’t love me“, “I get no respect” – to enumerate the reasons for grievances is endless, but, believe me, they will be connected with the reverent attitude of our hero to his own person.
To find the offender it is easy
Someone is usually offended? First and foremost, of course, the closest most get a lot of touchy people, their families and friends. In second place with work colleagues and superiors. The space can be divided differently: if there is no loved ones, all grievances will be associated with the team. To assign blame distant relatives more difficult – they may not know what messed up for a long time the mood of the person related to them by blood. It is especially difficult to obtain from them the desired reaction, if they live in another city and chat with them minimized.
The deep sense of resentment
Besides the fact that condition of resentment allows, as mentioned above, to attract the attention of others, it gives a lot of other “benefits”. Here is a sample list of them:
- Resentful people do not owe anything to the person he offended: you can even save money if the offense is on the eve of the birthday of their “enemy”.
- The offended person must entertain: he would be happy to listen to interesting stories, I’d love to go to a cafe, despite the extreme degree of resentment, it may take itself in hands and to sit through a session in the cinema.
- In family life, the offense allows some time complete freedom from family obligations: for example, the wife should not be surprised if the offended husband was sleeping over at a friend’s. Similarly, the offended wife may demand from the spouse, compensation in the form of gift vouchers for holidays or just male attention for mental suffering which she had for him to move. Children can resent parents and some time not to hear their comments; the parents have every right not to purchase a son or daughter of the promised thing, to deny the field trip to reduce the money, granted pocket money.
- Is it possible to demand that the offended employee much success in the work? Is it convenient to force him to linger for an hour or two at the end of the day? Sent on a business trip? The chief, if he is a man of conscience, you cannot deny him of the award is not to deprive the unfortunate man, though of little material wealth. Happy colleagues, whom no one oppresses and humiliates obliged to support his friend, that is, to assume a greater part of the orders, in order not to aggravate and without that unenviable position of our hero.
How to re-techy person?
First, you need to stop paying attention to his mood. How to do it? A few methods: you can just ignore the message that someone, and possibly you, dear reader, was quite a vile man. However, this can be difficult: first, the most touchy of people still will not leave you alone until then, until you see that the information reached the desired destination; secondly, some of them are aggressive and you can acquire the real enemy.
Perhaps it is better to listen to the offended person. If truth in his words, apologize to him (if he you) and to put an end to this subject, giving him to understand that to talk about it anymore you won’t. In the case where the offense is not tied to you, and you only intended to be an impartial judge to be him! To support the offended person if the truth is on his side, but again did not give him long to develop this theme, reveling in his offense. If in the course of friendly conversation, it becomes clear that no one is innocent, your “hurt” comrade idea, be firm in your opinion: in any case not play along him. Don’t be afraid to hurt him: the person will be useful to think about his words and his biased attitude towards people.
Easy to deal with the faults of others, and how to do better?
The propensity to offense not to hide from myself: if you, dear reader, often offended themselves, so be sure to work on your character. Resentment is not a harmless trait: for offense, you can lose family, friends, work; to be in complete isolation from society, because even the kindest people have the limit of patience – once they get bored of messing with the man, who immediately take offense at everything and everyone.
Next time when you want to suffer, try to think like this:
- Nobody wanted to offend you. If it happened, it was quite by accident – it is not necessary to give it value.
- Remember that in any case it is better to be hurt himself than to hurt another.
- If you think too long about causing you offense, then you have no other business: engage in something useful, and the mood immediately improved!
Remember that the habit to be offended can create you a lot of problems in life. All nice to communicate with someone open, fun, easy by nature, and nobody wants to waste time listening to silly things, to be someone’s “shoulder” feel close to happy and so guilty: it is much easier to stop to chat with “unhappy”!
