First of all, we need to understand why a teenager sometimes violates your rules. What are the reasons of disobedience of a teenager? And maybe you will understand that it is not a malicious rebel.
A common problem in the family is a disobedient teenager. For example, you for the whole family made a rule that after 9pm everyone turn off their cell phones. But again you find your daughter or son for sending SMS after midnight. Or for a teenager you made a rule to go home at 10pm and not later. But he comes back after 11pm. If a teenager does not listen to parents what to do? How to raise a teenager?
Parenting Teens – the causes of disobedience:
- Not clearly stipulate the rules. Sometimes the teenager ignores the rules of the parent to check whether he will get away with it. If, for example, parents say that for some misconduct, he will receive punishment, the teenager will want to test how far he can go in disobedience. This is not always willful disobedience. Just Teens often break the rules when they see that parents do not always keep their word and when not clearly define the boundaries of the rules.
- Parents are stubborn. Sometimes parents with multiple rules trying to keep a teenager in subjection. If he violates them, the parents get angry and establish even more rules. This is often the situation will only get worse. The more parents try to subdue the teenager, the more he resists it. This can be compared with an attempt to spread on soft bread, cold butter: the bread will crumble. And if to smear even more – the problem is not solved.
Parenting Teens – if a teenager does not listen:
An important role in the education of teenagers playing the correct instruction. If the purpose of punishment is to make the teenager suffer then the goal of instruction is to teach.
What can you do to teach your teen to listen and respect your rules?
- Make the rules clear. The teenager needs to Technosat what is expected of him and what he will receive for disobedience.
Tip: write down all the rules. Consider this: maybe they are too much or too little? Maybe some rules are no longer necessary, and some can be changed, depending on how responsible the teenager showed itself.
- To be consistent. The teenager is confused when the parents of yesterday had left him without punishment, but today he had to answer for such misconduct.
Tip: for punishing the misconduct, the corrective measure should be connected with a misdemeanor. For example, if a teenager came later than expected, parents now told him earlier to come home.
- To be reasonable. Show your son or daughter that you are willing to be flexible, giving them more freedom when they deserve it.
Tip: it is better to discuss with your teen. You can even ask his opinion, what deserves punishment each offense. It is noticed that teenagers are more willing to comply the rules, the establishment of which they themselves participated.
- To shape the personality of a teenager. The goal of parents should not be easy to achieve obedience to the rules, and to help your child develop a sensitive conscience, that is, inner consciousness of good and evil.
Tip: Try to develop in the child good. Reflect with your teenager on what traits he needs to develop in order to have a good reputation. Teach him to make wise decisions, when a teenager is faced with difficulties.