23.06.2024

I’m a sleep expert — this is what it means if you keep dreaming about your ex

Recurrent dreams about your ex may seem like a nightmare. But these visions can offer an insight into how you really feel, according to a sleep expert.

One reason your ex is appearing in your dreams is because you still have feelings for them, even if you don’t want to get back together, says Dr Daisy Mae.

Whether someone cheated, was unsupportive or a couple simply grew apart, it does not mean you stop caring for your ex overnight.

Dr Mae, who worked as a doctor in the NHS for 30 years, said: ‘This is the answer that most people don’t want to hear.

Data shows that ‘Dreaming about ex’ is the 6th most popular dream in the UK (stock image)

Data shows that ‘Dreaming about ex’ is the 6th most popular dream in the UK (stock image)

‘But often, your ex appears in your dream as you feel you’re unsettled with the way things ended.

‘This doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to get back together, but you may just be unhappy that this person isn’t in your life anymore, as a friend, or that you never had the closure that you needed.

‘Once you’ve stopped dreaming about your ex, it’s a sign you’ve moved on.’

Dr Mae, based in Hampshire, advises people recognise the loss and mourn that their ex is no longer in their life.

An ex popping up in your dream could also signal you’re worried the break-up is impacting a new relationship — either because you’re concerned it will also end badly or that you’ll get hurt again.

Statisically, the odds aren’t in your favour. Around four in 10 married couples in the UK and US get divorced.

Dr Mae, working with online retailer Get Laid Beds, said: ‘If your ex was in last night’s dream, then you might be thinking about ways to resolve whatever happened to you that meant that you guys broke up.

‘You might be worried about these situations happening in future relationships, so just have a think on what you could’ve done differently and think about how you can prevent it with your new lover.’

She added: ‘Every break-up is hard, and sadly they’re something you take through life with you.

‘By reflecting on your ex in your dream, you might be worried that you are going to get hurt again.

‘Perhaps your new relationship is showing signs of going down the same route, which is why you’re starting to dream about past ways that you’ve been hurt.’

Dreaming about a former partner may also be a sign that you miss intimacy, rather than the person, says Dr Mae.

Couples tend to spend lots of there time together. When that disappears, many miss not having another person to cuddle or make a cup of tea for.

Dr Mae said: ‘Dreaming about your ex doesn’t mean you still love them — it can be a sign you are feeling lonely.

‘Try and build close relationships with friends and family to improve your level of emotional intimacy.

‘However, this doesn’t necessarily mean the sex side of things, it may be emotional intimacy from a friendship group, a family member or a current partner.’

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