Raising a child is a very complex process that requires a lot of time, physical and mental effort. Despite all the efforts, in the life of every baby, the so-called critical periods that require increased attention from parents. It is during these periods most often appear first tantrums of the child.
Children makes a scene crying, shouting, rolling on the floor, waving arms and legs. Often these excesses are accompanied by the desire to get a new toy or a forbidden thing. And if the reasons for tantrums in older children are often accessible to parents, such episodes in infants cut the ground from under his feet and forced to sign in his own impotence.
In fact, the causes of tantrums, and ways to eliminate such behavior, almost always lie on the surface. The task of parents is to understand the situation and try to understand what motivates Chad.
Causes of tantrums in a child
In extremely rare cases lead to hysteria the internal failures of the body –disorders of the nervous system. Tantrums from these children, unfortunately, are a manifestation of severe mental illnesses that require professional treatment under the supervision of a therapist or psychiatrist.
In all other situations of hysteria – a kind of response of the child’s mind to the incoming information. Most often the roots of this problem must be sought in the relationship between family members, children and adults in the yard, in kindergarten or school.
There is a list of triggers:
- constant lack of sleep;
- inadequate nutrition, leading to a constant feeling of hunger;
- suffering a severe somatic disease;
- congenital unstable warehouse of the nervous system;
- the mistakes of education in the form of excessive strictness, guardianship or frequent punishment.
The basis of hysteria may lie in any of these factors, and in most cases a combination of them.
The immediate reason for the attack quite often are:
- detachment from interesting things;
- the desire to get a new toy or thing, forbidden by their parents;
- the desire to attract the attention of others;
- attempts to Express dissatisfaction;
- the desire to be like someone else;
- failure when you run a certain class
The types of tantrums in a child
Specialists classify 2 types of tantrums in a child, which differ in mechanism of their development and provoking factors:
- Top style tantrums. It got its name as a sign that his development is in the most upper part of the Central nervous system – the cerebral cortex. This type of hysteria is characterized by the fact that the child is deliberately her rolls. The most striking example of such an episode – a scandal in the store at the refusal of a parent to buy a new toy. The authors called the main cause of these disorders, the deficiency of education.
- Bottom type tantrums. During development respond more to the lower part of the Central nervous system, which are not under the power of consciousness. Manifestations such hysteria should be regarded as episodes of crying, screaming and freaking out in response to the showering, bright lights, loud music and other such factors. Such hysteria is often the result of overloading the nervous system with a large amount of information, the lack of sleep and other factors.
Approaches to the elimination of one or the other type of hysteria must be different, because these two disorders have different origins. If the top type is the result of parenting mistakes, to eliminate cases of hysteria it is necessary to eliminate the errors of education.
At the same time, in the presence of the lower type of hysteria, it is better to seek help from a specialist, so as not to exacerbate the situation so difficult.
What to do when the tantrum of a child?
Tactic of parents in hysterics must differ depending on the age of the child, because at different stages of development the baby experiences different needs and desires. But at the same time, there are certain principles that help to calm the child during the tantrum, regardless of age.
The principle of the first – stay calm
The child can draw the attention of parents, only their behavior. Hysteria is one such attempt to succeed. If the kid feels that parents react to his antics, the risk of repeated tantrums will increase significantly. If you witness such behavior – don’t lose your nerve. In some cases it can be very difficult, especially when the tantrum happens in a public place or a child comes in crying until you stop breathing. But only indifference is the correct way in the fight against childhood tantrums.
The second principle – stay adult
Never click on a child’s language and do not engage in a discussion with him. Once yielding to his entreaties, you will notice that next time he will manipulate you with much more confidence in a positive result for him. If the child wanted a new toy, don’t try to talk him out of it or offer something else. You must stay in my own lane and at the first manifestations of hysteria to indicate that the toy is not allowed in the first place because of his bad behavior.
If you are afraid of the views of others or in a fit babe brings discomfort to others, it is better to take him to a remote and safe place.
It is important
If the child is small and can inadvertently harm yourself, you need to stay with him until he is completely calm down.!
The third principle – defer the conversation
The worst decision in hysterics the child is to begin immediately to discuss the situation. It is best to postpone the discussion until then, as long as the kid or teenager completely calm down and not be able to perceive your information.
During the subsequent conversation, first of all, to clarify the reason of such behavior. Convincingly explain why you are unable to meet the request of the child, and why you can’t do that. Just don’t threaten the child with punishment when repeated tantrums. As practice showing, at risk of punishment the kids throw tantrums more often.
Fourth principle – avoid reasons
If you think you have figured out the reason of such behavior of your kid, you don’t need immediately to test how it behaves when re-prompted. The first time it is better to avoid such conflict situations. If the child will forget about this episode that is very much of a chance that a tantrum will never happen again.
Fifth principle – avoid overexertion
Often the cause of tantrums is not a bad character kid, and a physical or, especially, moral strains. If the child gets tired of a large number of sessions, or are constantly surrounded by family quarrels, a cause of hysteria – not the child.
Try to create your kid a friendly atmosphere, provide a balanced diet, proper sleep, walking on air. Follow his progress at school and that physical and mental stress is age appropriate. If performance falls, may not be worth it to yell at the kid. It is likely that he does not have time due to the fact that he has after school to visit some clubs or sections. Remember that not all children can cope with homework equally successful.
What to do with the hysteria of the child?
Bouts of uncontrollable behavior in the child, who was not yet even a year, are quite rare. They usually are not associated with errors of education. Most of these episodes is a manifestation of any mental or nervous disorders in the baby. It is better not to attempt to deal with hysteria in year old child.
The main task of parents during this period – time to consult with experts who will help to identify existing violations.
Hysteria in a child 1-2 years
At this age the baby begins to understand the forbidden meaning of such words as “no” or “no”. Often it takes them a kind of stimulus, responding to it with bouts of tantrums. Most often, this happens in crowded places, where hysteria is designed, not primarily to the parents, and to others.
Remembering the General principles of dealing with hysteria in a child, the first thing to do is hug him and try to hold in my arms. Quite often a similar technique passes and the child calms down. If he, on the contrary, trying to escape from the clutches, should not hold, it may only aggravate the situation.
If the escape of the baby will not harm him, let him go and try to wait out the attack. After that is available to the child form, show him your love. This can be hugs, kisses or anything else, but not the resolution of what he tried to achieve his hysteria.
Hysteria in a child 3 years
Three-year-olds to imitate adults and seek independence. Ban some adult classes often becomes the cause of attacks of hysteria. The baby can start any venture, just to see your reaction.
Your behavior in this situation should be the following:
- It is impossible to forbid the child to do next and get him to do something that by your standards, is valid.
- The ideal option would be a joint game when you child is a tantrum will offer to make a design or draw a picture. In this case, it is essential that you communicate more and by his example showed how to behave better.
- Psychologists recommend to follow his speech to talk with the child did not appear demonstrative phrase. Baby will be much more pleasant if you don’t specify to him that you need to dress up for a walk, and offer to walk together in the yard or in the Park.
Hysteria in a child 4-6 years
At this age, children are not just watching how adults behave and what they do. They begin to understand, and often use the fact that the parents cannot come to a consensus regarding their education. In 4-6 years the child already understands – something forbidden by the mother, may be authorized by the father or grandmother. At this age it is very important that parents don’t compete for the love of the child, but jointly carried out a mission the proper education.
Tantrums at this age have a are rare, since such children can talk, discuss their problems and try to find a solution. If the child is not going to communicate with you, it is best to seek help from a professional psychologist and read books on parenting. Remember: what will grow your baby – it depends on you.