03.12.2021

How to identify an unhealthy dependence on a partner

Love is the drug or not? Of course, something narcotic in it, but still binds it to itself is not so much. On the other hand, if love turns into addiction and you are so dependent upon man that can’t spend without him for a second, it becomes a problem. And if in the early stages of this state of Affairs acceptable, then the further develop your relationship, the less they should be obsession, which is replaced here with tenderness, mutual respect and household romance.

Psychologists say that we can indeed be obsessed with your partner to the same extent that it happens with drugs, alcohol, or food with food compulsive disorders. And it is that logical, not only affects our mental health, but also for professional activity and social interaction.

Dr. Femke, Buisman-Pilman (Femke Buisman-Pijlman), a researcher of addictive behaviour at the University of Adelaide (University of Adelaide), and doctor of philosophy Margaret Paul (Margaret Paul) made a list of signs that enables us to understand that you are in an unhealthy relationship that needs to get out as soon as possible. Ready to test yourself? This list is right in front of you.

You want to be with someone so much that it interferes with your own life. You throw friends and relatives, cancelling important meetings and refuse from the once favorite activities for partner, seeking to be with him maximum time. “Addiction is not when you have something too much, but when you can’t stop something that brings you lots of fun, but more trouble,” explains the Daily Mail Dr. Buisman-Pilman.

Your sex life interferes with daily life. If you regularly miss work or school to have sex, do it in inappropriate places and at inappropriate times, such behavior can not be called healthy.

You can’t control its desire to see the person or talk to him. If you promise yourself not to call your partner until the evening, but I can’t stick to the rules, the situation could spiral out of control.

You spend all your money. Giving gifts from time to time is very nice, but the dependence is obvious in the case when you continue to buy these gifts, even if they themselves deep in debt.

You can’t be happy without this person. Time spent with a partner, can and should be incredibly happy. But you should be able to have fun and when he’s not around. If your life is not other people that make you truly happy, it is very easy to fall into an unhealthy dependency.

Are you afraid to spend time without him. About addiction can testify to the fact that you are embarrassed, anxious or scared, when you spend time without a partner, whether it’s a friend’s birthday or night sleep.

You don’t like what you’re doing without a partner. It is important to preserve the opportunity to enjoy time spent with friends or parents, allowing the partner to do the same. If you don’t like spending time without a partner or if he does not approve of your independent actions, obviously, you are trapped.

You are constantly trying to get his attention. If you often argue with him about the details, it may say that you desperately need attention of the partner. Moreover, it introduces in the voltage status of both of you, it also demonstrates the unhealthy nature of your relationship.

You feel good, only when this person is around. You’re drunk from happiness with him, but exhausted and miserable when he’s away (even if he just went to the store for bread)? Oh yeah, it’s an addiction.

You are trying to calculate how much he loves you. You can be obsessed with, if you carefully study all that the partner makes, from his body language and what he says, to “likes” and “shares” in social networks, trying to understand how strong his love for you.

You always need his approval. You should not be upset if partner not like your new shoes. Because in the end, it’s your shoes, not his, and you bought them because you really liked.

You can’t do anything when the partner goes to work. Except, of course, the opportunity to lie on the bed, sad and waiting for him to come back. The key to a healthy relationship – the ability to take responsibility for their own happiness. It also includes the situation when the partner goes to meet with friends, but not taking you with me why you are no longer upset and angry.

You use sex to make him love you more. If you periodically force yourself to have sex only in order that the partner did not love you, you are obviously dependent. Sex should not be used as a way to buy love. Sex should be what brings pleasure to you both.

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