28.09.2020

About ways of struggle with melancholy and despondency

She covers her head, and everything changes. Bright colors fade, favorite sounds start to irritate, and close people become distant and strangers. I do not want to see anyone, I do not want to do anything.It’s sad, melancholy and incomprehensible how to cope with suddenly surging emotions. How to overcome depression and how to benefit from a difficult condition, a SHE correspondent was told by a psychologist, psychotherapist of the European registry, Gestalt therapist Alena Sagadeeva. 

About ways of struggle with melancholy and despondencyThe word “depression” in everyday life is used very often. Family disorders – depression, diet does not help – depression. How to make a correct diagnosis and not confuse depression with temporary stress or moping?

There are depressive conditions in which the ability of a person to be adequate to the surrounding reality is violated. But while he is aware of his adequacy, it is still a state of the mentally retarded person. And there is a manic-depressive psychosis – a disease in which a person, regardless of external circumstances, passes from the phase of manic activity to the phase of depressive inhibition. The difference is in the degree of adequacy.

Anyone can be depressed, or are there any groups of people who are more likely to become victims of it?

Depressive states are most often affected by people with cyclic activity – those who are inclined to get carried away and spend too much time and energy on one or another occupation, giving too much attention and giving too much importance to something. Then the activity becomes redundant for the organism, and he himself is ready for the stage of inhibition.

Depression should be experienced, endured or take some action to get out of this state?

About ways of struggle with melancholy and despondencyYou can endure depressive conditions, but the risk is that they can become chronic. Surviving is better, but you need to be able to do it. To experience is to feel in a state, to follow it as precisely as possible, to examine and feel it. And this is activity – it means that there is a way out. True, there is a risk of getting stuck … Therefore, it is best to take some action. First, it is necessary to know that the core of depressive states is a restrained experience. Finding him and giving him the will is an important step in dealing with depression. Secondly, behind the facade of a depressed state there is always an unmet need – in recognition, love, respect, etc. It is necessary to find it and … to satisfy! It is clear that this is not an easy job. Therefore, quite often with depressive conditions people come to a therapist. And there is still an “ambulance”.

Physicians have long known that depressive conditions are removed by physical stress. Not for long, but still. And if the load is made regular, then the relief will be regular. Add to this work on awareness, and it turns out that depression – it’s just a road to a new life! 

Often, troubles in his personal life drive a man into a corner. Many people go to work with their heads. Will this help or, on the contrary, aggravate the situation?

Going headlong into work can ease the experience, but provoke workaholism. And besides, troubles mean that a person does something wrong. That’s what you need to understand to be more successful next time. People are afraid of pain, instead of obeying it. Fire spoils the skin, so the finger in the fire – it hurts. Relations are not built correctly, they hurt partners, so, it is necessary to change something. Only it is important to understand what exactly. If it is understood correctly, the mental pain goes away as superfluous.

How to help a depressed loved one: distract, convince that everything is not so bad, or just leave a person alone?

About ways of struggle with melancholy and despondencyHelping relatives in such conditions is hard work. And you need to think about whether you are ready. In these conditions, being warm or grateful to people is simply beyond the power, and your presence can be an additional source of stress. There are no recipes for all cases here. What for someone is life-giving and necessary, for another is fatal and harmful. The helper needs to be as attentive and patient as possible, without trying to impose his own idea of ​​anything, but focusing on the sufferer. Here, too, have their own tricky traps. For example, the secondary benefits of these conditions. Or when the helper himself falls into such conditions. Or violation of relationships due to inadequate behavior. Therefore it is better – to a specialist.

But what about yourself, when you do not want anything and nobody understands? What measures can you take yourself? 

If it happened, you need to give yourself time. During this period it is important to understand what emotion you are holding back, and to find a way to express it safely. Further it is important to realize what desire is not really satisfied.

The desire to go to the Canaries most often conceals the need for peace, rest and pleasure. And for the thirst for harmony – the need for love and recognition. 

And these needs can and should be met in the simplest human ways! To say that this is impossible is to cut off the path to liberation. To say that it is not easy is to accept the truth. And do not forget about the “first aid” – physical activity. They relieve depressive states for several hours.

It is believed that depression for a creative person is a kind of push. Roughly speaking, if everything is good, then there is no creativity. Is it really?

About the creative must say that this is a common misconception. Listen to what songs they sing or read poetry. Not familiar with love states can confuse them with a deep poisoning or a serious cold. “Why should I live?”, “I can not breathe,” “I do not enjoy anything,” etc. Really creative states are born in happy people. Only here is the trouble: if recognition is needed, then one must write for those who suffer, describing suffering as accurately and beautifully. And for this you need to know what you are writing about, ie. suffer. But this is a flawed creativity. The real creative is not here. He – in freedom from small squabbles, lack of love and fears. Free people do not need recognition and always receive it. Do not need money, but have them. And so in everything. This is real creativity, where the work of High Art is Life itself.

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