With that being said, sometimes we fool ourselves into a false sense of security because the truth is too bitter to swallow. Even then red flags will pop up to reveal that the person concerned is not to be trusted. How will you know though? Here are 4 vital signs that show you don’t get a feeling of emotional security when it comes to select people:
Have you ever noticed how easily you can trust someone you just got to know but can’t put the same faith in someone you’ve known for years? Before you say a word, that in no way means something is wrong with you. What that means is something is wrong with the other person.
As people with a strong conscience, we tend to trust those we feel safe around. Safety and security are feelings that you just can’t feel with anybody or even at all times for that matter. You might spend your entire lifetime searching for that kind of safety where you truly don’t ever have to worry about being hurt or betrayed.
So, don’t blame yourself if you can’t feel it in the presence of someone you know – be it a colleague, a family member or even your spouse. It’s the other person’s responsibility to create an atmosphere where you can feel secure.
1. You Constantly Feel Judged
No matter how hard you try to please the other person by doing things their way, you are still judged and criticized for doing what you do. Now, that’s a big sign that shows you feel unsafe and are constantly afraid to be yourself.
While bullying and open criticism are obvious signs that deter the feeling of safety and security, friendly taunts are a subtle sign that might be hard to distinguish from jokes and wit. Nonetheless, if you feel like you’re being taunted for every little thing you do, make an exit. You shouldn’t force yourself to be with people who are negative and create an environment of negativity all around you.
2. You’re Reminded Of Old Wounds
When you’ve suffered an emotional trauma such as heartbreak or a betrayal, it may take you a long time to recover from it. That means for you to able to trust again can be extremely difficult. More so when you come across a person who reminds you of the cause behind your trauma. In such a scenario, you may put a wall around you, making it impossible for anyone else to penetrate through them.
While it’s good to be wise and save yourself from future pain, you should know that not everyone is the same. The new person in your life may not actually hurt you like the previous one did. However, if the present person consciously does things that dig deep into your old wounds, you should steer clear of them.
3. You Find It Hard To Be Honest
A crucial part of being yourself is getting the scope to be honest with the people in your life. However, when you’re always judged, being honest can prove to be increasingly difficult. As a result, you don’t get the outlet to express what you really feel and have to keep all your emotions bottled up inside.
In the long run, this can take a toll on you. You might feel extremely suffocated, unloved, and uncared for. However, the power to avert this situation lies in your hand. If you ever come across someone who doesn’t allow you to speak the truth of what you feel, distance yourself from them. Don’t change yourself to accommodate the person. Instead, be who you are and move on.
4. The Other Person Is Closed Up Too
Lastly, the 4th sign that indicates you feel unsafe around someone is that the other person doesn’t allow you into their lives either. This might not necessarily be the fault of the person but it can definitely act as a barrier that stops the two of you from coming close. Naturally, a relationship that lacks intimacy cannot be rich in safety or security either. After all, knowing someone truly is what it takes to build a solid foundation.
In this case, you should try to befriend the person concerned instead of ruling them out of your life altogether. Friendship can help bring the walls down of the other person, helping the two of you form a stronger bond. Who knows, you might even discover that you have plenty of shared interests.
Getting a sense of security is really important for the sake of your sanity. You should never get close to someone who cannot instill this feeling in you. The relationship you share with the person will eventually turn sour and lead to more trust issues in the future. So, be careful and keep these 4 signs in mind.