01.12.2021

It Took Me Years To Convince My Parents

We’re worried if our choices will hurt them and disappoint them. We are worried that following our heart’s desires would lead us to be disowned by the exact people who gave us a life. Running away from a daunting ex or a phobia is still okay, but running away from your parents? Not okay.

Have you always followed your heart (like legit 100%)? We all dream big, we become someone in those dreams, but only a small percentage of us realize our dreams and make it a reality. But, what makes people succumb to the failure of their own dreams? Reasons could definitely be many, but from what I’ve seen in my circle of friends there’s this one common answer-“Parents!”

Parents’ Way Or The Highway?

There’s no guarantee that following your heart’s dreams and desires is going to be a cakewalk. And your parents might not accept your decisions immediately. But, I am not asking you to go against them. Just go with your gut feeling and fly yourself to freedom.

What I’m trying to say is, our parents’ affection for us, the concern and the protectiveness for us, all of it began even before we were born. From even before our birth, their only dream is for their child to be happy, always! But with time, this definition of happiness seems to change on a large scale. The paths that would make us happy, would often disappoint them. Some of us might have it easy and follow our dreams, but for most of us, it’s a struggle. I came across a few souls who figured a mid-way and made peace with their dreams as well as their parents. We asked a few people to share their stories, here’s what they had to say.

How I Convinced My Parents That I’m Gay

My parents found out that I’m gay three years ago. And ever since then, they’ve been berating me about it-either that or maybe they’re ignoring the truth. I still remember the day they found out; they asked me way too many questions that were far too unrealistic for me to answer. They pointed out that I was sacrificing a normal life for something that the society would never love me for. I began to be treated like I was abnormal.

That’s when thoughts like if it was worth it to hold on to my parents pondered my head. It took me a while to understand that it was their fear that was making them behave this way. The fear of letting go of that story they wrote for me since my birth and now this unexpected chapter of accepting these plot twists and a different ending altogether is understandable.

So, I began to make room for their fear, tried to understand them a little more. And I was baffled when they slowly began to open their minds and arms to my sexuality and understood me better. Was that a happy ending? Well, definitely! And guess what? Last month, I introduced them to my better half and they’ve begun to love him more than me. I couldn’t be much happier! So, communication and patience helped me win this battle.

How I Convinced My Parents That I Wanted To Move Out

Who said it’s only the girls who face issues when it comes to making life-changing decisions? Hi, I’m Rahul! I hail from a small village in Rajasthan. I always wanted to learn to be independent in life-that was my only goal. And after my graduation, when I decided to move out of my house and head to a nearby city to fulfill my dreams, it created chaos in my house.

Mine was a joint family (yes, the very word indicates a lot of compromises), therefore, I didn’t have to please just my parents, but also my paternal aunts and uncles as well. I wanted to pay my own bills, enjoy my personal space, and not be bogged down by the ideologies of my elders. The decision was a challenging one; One evening, I gathered all my courage and spoke my mind out while everyone munched on some samosa and chai. To my surprise, my uncles and aunts understood me and they helped me convince my parents. With some bitterness and a whole lot of, “You don’t care about us anymore” conversations with my parents, I set off.

I still remember I’d wiped the tears from my mom’s face while leaving. It’s been a year now since I moved out now, and I’ve succeeded in what I had intended to achieve. And my family is proud of me.

How I Convinced My Parents That Marriage Wasn’t Meant For Me

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know you guys love me. So, first of all, I want to thank you for all the love you’ve been showering me with since I was born and for the protection you’ve given me while facing the world. I also know I’m probably the most prized possession in your lives. Ever since I turned 18, your biggest concern has been only one thing-my marriage. Your interest in my marks, my social life, my happiness it all began to wane. The concern about my marriage overshadowed everything else.

When I come home during Diwali, I expect you to ask me about my job, if my boss is impressed with me, ask me about that hobby of mine, or just ask me about my life. But, on the contrary, all you’re worried about is how tanned I’ve become, which jewelry or saree suits me the best, and how I am next in line in the list of eligible-for-marriage women in the family.

I understand that I’m in my 30s now and most of my friends have settled down. But, mom, dad, can’t you see that I’m settled too? Yes, mom, there’s been a hell lot of boyfriends who’ve come and gone. I’ve been hurt at times and I have learned my lessons. But I never let it affect my career whatsoever. I want to tell you that I’m an adult now, and my decisions are solely mine-marriage or otherwise. And for now, I just want to take a deep breath and discover myself first and then maybe think of sharing my life with someone. I’m sorry! I don’t mean to hurt you or embarrass you in the society we live in. I’m sure you’ll understand.

Your Gudiya,
Lots Of Love,
Pooja

Do these stories ring a bell in your head? Do you have similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.

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