06.05.2021

How I Learnt To Accept My Flaws And Learned To Love Myself

In the eye of the others, we might be the nicest humans alive on this planet, we might say all the right things, do all the good deeds, etc., but when it comes to self-love, we are often way too hard on ourselves.

Do you count your flaws before people point them out to you? Well, I did that throughout my school days and now it has become a habit that refuses to leave my side. We all have certain vices and flaws, and today, I confess that my biggest vice was/is to indulge in active self-criticism and point my own flaws out for the spectators of my life.

How Flawed Are We?

If you are anything like the aforementioned, you have probably spent hours together trying to fix yourself- your physical, emotional, behavioral, or mental aspects. I had armored myself with the weapon of self-criticism and pointed it out to others. Although my flaws weren’t anything that hindered me from functioning properly, I always had a tendency to put them out on the table like a card dealer who showed his worst cards first.

I joked around that I had a nose that’s bigger than an Elephant’s trunk, and that if I ever jumped into the pool, all the water would splash out because of my heavy self. Well, that was my way of not allowing anyone else to put me down, because I had already bestowed myself with that privilege.

But, now, I have come to realize that all these said flaws that I have conditioned myself to believe, have left a deeper impact on my life. Although I may pretend otherwise, many of my own life decisions, career choices, aspects of social life, and even my choice of dressing have largely been affected by my own insecurities. The intention to fix it always stays, but the truckload of insecurities have always found a way to overshadow my intentions of breaking out of my world full of flaws.

But, for how long? For how long can you run away from your own shadow? For how long can you look into the mirror with the eyes of a critic rather than appreciating and embracing yourself-embracing all of it. Make your flaws your strength, and not a laughing stock for the others. Fat, skinny, dark-skinned, pale, sensitive, over-dependant, whatever your flaw is, load that up as bullets of confidence in your gun of life. (Coincidentally, while I write this, my phone is singing John Legend’s All of me loves all of you)

 But… We All Need To Love Ourselves

I wonder how amazing it would be if we dedicated John Legend’s song to ourselves. Well, you could shoot me down as a narcissistic person who has drowned herself in self-obsession and vanity. But, what good is love if we haven’t learned to love ourselves? Maybe I need to stop discrediting myself for all that I am not, and start appreciating myself for all that I am.

It’s okay to be too sensitive, it’s okay to be someone who thinks that all that glitters is gold. It’s okay to be someone who speaks their mind, and it’s definitely okay to be someone who doesn’t fit in the beauty standards set by the society. Because these aren’t my flaws. (I’m just human, after all) What is defined as flaws are the collective voice of the society that has confined itself to the four walls of a rigid set of standards that branch out to all aspects of life.

Maybe, I needn’t build a wall as high as the walls of the society’s ridiculousness (Donald Trump is busy building some already). I just need to learn to be my own best friend-even on my worst days, I have to learn to pick up my crown and wear it with a smile. I have realized that the greatest task is not about discovering self-love, it’s about breaking down those walls that I have built against it.

Selena Gomez has spelt it out loud and clear for us: When it comes to me, I wouldn’t want to be anybody else. In the world of duplicates, be a Kareena Kapoor, because everybody remembers you when you say, “Mein apni favorite hoon,” but you might just get lost in the crowd if your motto is something like, “Mein Madhuri Dixit banna chahti hoon”. Being original never runs out of fashion. In a nutshell, I have chosen to honor and regard myself rather than snubbing myself off, because, I’m sexy and I know it!

Over time, I have come to understand that self-love is the most important form of love. But, unfortunately, it’s often looked at as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and self-righteousness. Is it really a sin to love yourself if that makes you happy and confident? Definitely not. When we learn to polish our flaws and present them on a golden tray, there’s nothing that can bog us down. So, next time you look into the mirror, blow yourself a kiss and pat yourself on the shoulder, because you are awesome!

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