Of course, the burgeoning sexuality of the child and careful opinion of the parents, but unfortunately, most parents forget about the emotional side of adolescence: the fear to start a serious relationship, and intense emotions that children experience.
Parents trying to raise in conversations with children about sex as long as possible, providing thus a “disservice“.
“If we continue to tell their children that sex is nasty and dangerous, can occur in one of two ways: either starting to have sex, your teen will feel guilty and scared, and will deny the fact that he is sexually active, or he will pretty soon find that sex is nice. And then the grown child will think: “You lied to me, so now I don’t believe a word you say“. In any case, to name only the dangers of sex very destructive path” – warn psychologists.
Parents should not hide from the childthat sex is enjoyable, but there are certain things that a child should know and follow.
It’s like a novice driver to indicate the speed limit: it is assumed that he must know not only the theory but also to take all necessary security measures. With sexual relations the situation is similar: about sex need to know and understand, without postponing this issue until an older age that you need to take precautions and only after that the sex will be fun.
If the child has already entered into a serious relationship, try to get him to talk, arrange to conversations about relationships and sex. By asking open-ended questions that he did not experience the fear, create the opportunity to talk about what exactly excites your child. For example, “How are things with your boyfriend/girlfriend?“, “You comfortable with this relationship?“, “Nothing bothering you?“.
If a child is not a candid talk about his personal life, you can try to discuss different scenarios, observing, for example, a young couple on the street. You can ask child: “How can they understand that ready to have sex?“, “What they need to know about each other before joining in a sexual relationship?“. This feature can be used to transfer your child family values, and articulate their point of view about when there is a right time for sexual relations.
Perhaps in your life happens for such a scenario: a child comes home and says he had sex. In this case the main thing – not to panic, not to condemn and not to read lectures. Children come to you because they have questions, your first response should demonstrate a desire to help. If the child says he has had unsafe sex, the first thing you should do is to go to the clinic, and only then, after ascertaining that the health of the child threatens nothing, you can gently say that you are not happy with this behavior, but happy that this problem child has come to you.