29.11.2020

Something’s wrong with me

Provide a short overview of the requirements for the parent, as in my practice, I have never met a person for whom it would not be relevant.

We were brought up. We educate parents, media, friends, relatives and teachers.

Sooner or later every person will face with their Significant Others, which will take their prescriptions – not including any logic or criticism. And it will be his life principle.

He’s going to live, rigidly following this order, including all situations that require a decision or choice AUTOMATICALLY, without hesitation.

Parent requirements and installation in our life

Many types of psychotherapy take into account the provisions in the therapeutic process, they can carry other titles are parent requirements, they also install, they are also limiting or root beliefs, they interacti.

These regulations are a huge number.

Remember the poem – “What is good and what is bad”? This set of rules.

Most of them we took then a long time ago, in childhood. And they continue to govern our lives.

The growth of the child is impossible without assimilation of these regulations. Part of these prescriptions can be very useful in childhood.

But in adult life they can start to seriously interfere.

They may interfere in different areas of our life – some ruin relationships, some interfere with his career, some very negative influence on the health and support addiction.

12 major requirements that have the greatest impact on our quality of life
1. “Not exist”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • there is no joy in life,
  • “adrenaline addiction”,
  • – alcohol and drug abuse,
  • – autoaggression, unwillingness to live.

How did the – unjust accusations, open the message “get out”, “want you To die”, “You interfere,” received from the Significant Other.

2. “Don’t be yourself”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – people live “your life”,
  • – lack of understanding of their desires, the fulfillment of other desires,
  • – crises of meaning,
  • – their lack of clear guidelines in life.

As there is frequent “reduction in sample” other people, devaluation of personal achievement Meaningful to Others.

3.”Don’t grow up”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – the difficulty of taking responsibility,
  • – immaturity, “childishness”,
  • – the tendency to dependent relationships,
  • – difficulties in career, inability to control yourself and others.

As there is strict control and Hyper by a Significant Other, loss of responsibility and “voice” in the decisions.

4.”Don’t be a baby”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – lack of (lack) their own desires,
  • – no skills to deal with their desires (not everything is),
  • – excessive concern about other detriment,
  • – prenebrezhenie own values, including health.

As there is excessive delegation of responsibility, hiphopera, early adulthood, the presentation of caring for others “deprivation of childhood” Significant Others.

5. “Don’t be mean”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – failure to achieve success, in spite of expended power and other resources
  • – a failed career,
  • – poverty,
  • – the absence of a “successful” relationship.

How did the influence of family history on the punishment of a man that has achieved great success, messages of the type “Not to show off” from the Significant Other, depreciation.

6.”Don’t be close”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – difficulties in building relationships, personal and friendly
  • – coldness, distrust of people,
  • – lack of understanding of what is happening around,
  • – detachment, a big difference from others.

How did the lack of warm, trusting relationship with a Significant Other, a traumatic experience (violence, treachery).

7. “Don’t do it”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – difficulties with any new endeavor – and in your personal life and career
  • – the difficulty of ending a relationship,
  • – inability to control yourself and others, lack of initiative.
  • no joy, the very high price of mistakes.

How did the sharp negative reaction of the Significant Other in action, his ruthlessness in assessments and installations.

8. “Don’t feel”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – difficulties in receiving feedback, lack of understanding and actions of other people
  • – difficulties in building relationships
  • – serious trauma in the relationship
  • – loneliness.

How did – getting an early traumatic experience on the part of Significant Others, “savanette”, the depreciation of relationship.

9. “Don’t be normal”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – difficulties in building a career and relationships,
  • – the unpredictability for others,
  • – lack of understanding of the actions of others,
  • – inability to control yourself and others.

How did the depreciation of any of the rules adopted in the society by a Significant Other – health, behaviour, appearance, etc.

10.”You don’t belong”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – significant difficulties in building relationships
  • – “restlessness”,

“I belong to anyone can’t, and I was no one and nothing can belong to – total – I have nothing!”

How did the depreciation, expressed as selfishness and negativity by a Significant Other.

11. “Not be healthy”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – constant health problems,
  • – excessive fixation on health to the detriment of other areas of life
  • – possible severe incurable and chronic diseases.

How did the fixation on bodily sensations by a Significant Other, the inability to get the attention of care and support in other ways.

12. “Don’t think”

Manifestation in adult life:

  • – inability to make decisions
  • – the excessive delegation of responsibility to others
  • – inability to control themselves and others,
  • – unpredictability and unreliability to others.

As there is excessive control deprivation and Hyper responsibility on the part of Significant Others.

Of course, this is a brief and approximate description of all the consequences of this widespread phenomenon.

Particular caution causes fact unconscious parent the requirements.

In practice, as a rule, these are incidental findings of the therapist.

Very rarely have to deal with queries aware. More often potential clients it becomes clear – “something is wrong with me!”, when they notice in life some patterns.

For example: “All my relationships lasted exactly 3 months”, “I cheat all the time”, “All my men stop working and sit on my neck” or “All my women want from me is my money.”

I have these awareness called “Favorite mistake.” And only then, after their awareness, it becomes possible – “Help me!”

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