In everyday hustle and bustle, we manage to tell the child “you ate”, “put on your hat” or “you did your homework”, but we forget to say other, much more important things.
In principle, what could be more important than wearing a hat or eating lunch, you say? It’s still about health. But in fact, both the hat and the dinners will be forgotten.
We need to talk about what will remain in memory as a feeling of rear, unconditional love and strong friendship with parents. Here are 10 phrases you need to say to your child regularly.
1. I love you
This is the basis of all the basics. You need to talk every day. And better than once. Of course, your baby knows that you love him, and you know, and this does not require extra confirmation. Nevertheless, these are very important words. From them tenderness is born. Husband, by the way, also needs to speak them every day, at least so that the routine does not kill the marriage.
2. How was your day?
It’s better to talk at dinner when the whole family gathers at the table. Or at night, climbing together under a blanket in the light of a night lamp. It is not necessary to ask for formality, that is, to listen to the answer in its entirety, even if the child tells slowly and incomprehensibly, and you are tired and your head is not full of his childhood joys and disappointments. If you want to maintain contact with a child in his teens, laying the foundation for this is necessary the sooner the better. And there is no better foundation than the habit of talking heart to heart.
3. You will succeed
Whatever it is, unconditional faith in his little powers will help the child grow self-confident. And in you, which is also important.
4. It happens to everyone, just try again
If point three did not work and the baby didn’t succeed, help him understand that everyone has setbacks. Success is achieved by one who does not fold his hands and moves on. The right to make mistakes and failures and knowing that you will be supported anyway is one of the most important things that our family gives us. Actually, without support, this is not a family.
5. I am proud of you
Any small step for mankind, but a big step for the child – he tied the laces himself, wrote the first word, learned the first rhyme, first appeared on the stage at the children’s matinee – this is truly an achievement. Show your child that his achievements are highly rated. This will give him strength for new ones.
6. I feel sorry for you
It seems to us adults that children’s sorrows and grievances are so small and insignificant in comparison with our large and adult problems that we simply cannot truly empathize with them. But in vain! Because we adults know that all problems are one way or another resolvable, that everything will pass, change, be forgotten, be erased. That everything can be fixed, thrown away, bought and survived. And for the child, everything is serious. And his small and ridiculous problems are not at all small and not at all funny, at least for himself.
7. Thank you for having us.
Just think that you could have some other baby born, not yours. Vooon is that nasty boy who drives an unfortunate personal cat or a girl with skinny pigtails around the yard who plagues the entire playground with his whims. But no, you are lucky, the best and your beloved child was born. Say thanks to him.
8. You can ask me anything
Promise to answer honestly all questions, even if they seem uncomfortable or stupid to you. And keep your word. You will always know what worries your child, what he is worried about and what is happening to him.
9. What do you think?
Be sincerely interested in the views of the child and explain your point of view. First, it’s easier to pass on experience without moralizing. Secondly, a child can give you a really fresh idea. Thirdly, he will learn to make decisions balanced and reasoned. This will greatly help him in the future.
10. I trust you
Always be on the side of your child. Actually, what other side can a loving mother have?