18.01.2021

5 ways to communicate with your child for real

Sometimes, spending days away with your child, it seems to you that the hours last unimaginably long: you should put him to bed as soon as possible! But in fact, you understand very well that years are running oh how fast: today he is a kid, and tomorrow he is already going to school… How can one make it so as to enjoy every moment of communication with him and not to miss the main thing?

The evening news has not even begun yet, but are you already knocking down from fatigue? Take to school, pick up, send to the sports section, do homework, put to bed… And if you still need to get ready for tomorrow’s work day, then the evening turns into a nightmare at all: you barely have enough strength to crawl to bed. In the morning you wake up unrefreshed, a day with a child is like a week, and a week is like a month.

As if contradicting ourselves, we often think: “How quickly time flies!” You won’t have time to blink, as he is already 10 years old, and there are 15 on the way. Nevertheless, our “adult” troubles, our fatigue and eternal employment prevent us from enjoying all the delights of spending time together with a child.

Child psychologists unanimously reiterate that the main thing in education is that the child spend time meaningfully with you. That is, he needs to be aware of how his parents live, and how they live, and in return, he will help you better understand yourself.

If we summarize all the time that the baby is in school, sections, with a nanny and friends, it turns out that he does not have much time left for you. Each time you say to yourself: “This Saturday we will spend together,” but then urgent things come, the child goes to his grandmother, and next week – all over again. The older the child, the more his weekends are busy with a variety of activities, going to the cinema with friends, school trips. And on weekdays, it’s quite rare when you manage to set aside for communication with a child: a maximum of a couple of hours. Instead of complaining about lack of time, focus not on quantity but on quality: two hours of walking in the park, watching a movie together, dinner in a restaurant. And even a trip to school can turn into a heart-to-heart conversation. And here are some more life hacks

Look into the future

Try the following mental trick. Imagine that the time has come when your child grew up and left his parental home. There is no child seat in the back seat of the car, the room of a baby who has long grown up is clean and tidy, toys that nobody needs are gathering dust on the shelves… Now you understand that the minutes spent with the baby should be appreciated? They are finite and fleeting. Of course, not every day will be ideal: whims and quarrels are natural in the process of education. Just think that one day you will realize that you gave your child everything that he needed.

Bedtime walks

A walk before bedtime will help the child calm down, and fresh air will bring thoughts in order after a difficult school day. In addition, this is a great opportunity to chat heart to heart – much better than watching TV together. The main thing is no distracting activities: go for a walk without the ball, phones and toys. Only then will it be possible to completely devote time to each other.

When you are tired at work so that the only thing you want is to come home and go to bed, it’s very easy to turn on the autopilot in communication with your child. But in this case, there is a danger of losing everything that you have “gained” for a long time communicating with the child, because if your mind flies somewhere far away, then you can assume that you did not spend time with the child. Instead, arrange the so-called “parental meditation,” that is, focus on hearing the baby and understanding it.

Themed dinners

Gathering with the whole family at dinner is already an event (especially at the frantic pace of our lives). Nevertheless, it will be much more interesting for the child to spend time at the table if you come up with a topic for this meal: today is Mexican food, tomorrow is Chinese, and the day after tomorrow it is pizza at all. For one evening, turn your kitchen into an Italian bistro or sushi bar: when a child is interested in something new and experiences positive emotions, he is much more willing to share news of the day, funny cases and stories from school everyday life.

And yet – this is a great way to connect the baby to cooking, and while mixing the salad or washing vegetables, the child will definitely tell you something interesting. In the morning, remind him: “Today is the Italian evening!”, And the child will probably run to dinner on time.

Walk more often

We agree, there is a great temptation to get into the car and get to the nearest park for a walk with the child. However, the time that you save to get to it can be spent on sincere conversations – that’s just for this you have to walk. Try to use vehicles to a minimum if you can reach your destination on your own: even half an hour, what you spend walking to your grandmother’s house or to the store is a great way to get closer to each other with the baby. Chat about everything: what you see around, what are the successes in a sports school and what movie you will watch in the near future. You can hold hands – unless, of course, the child is not yet embarrassed by this. If you do not have urgent matters, after taking the offspring to a circle or section, do not rush home, wait for him in a cafe with a cup of coffee and a book:

to be together!

If you find a way to “squeeze the maximum” out of every hour spent with your child, you will not only become the most wonderful parent, but also grow a kind and helpful adult. Show the offspring how important it is for you to spend time with him, and, believe me, the result will not be long in coming.

Repair together

Of course, we all know that sometimes in some things a child is more trouble than good, and often it’s easier for us to do everything ourselves, without involving the baby in the process. Nevertheless, it is important to involve him in adulthood. Whether you are repairing a leaking faucet, changing a light bulb or painting a hedge at a summer cottage, do not forget to call the offspring to share your experience. Even if he is still too small, it does not matter: it is important for him to know that in the adult world, efforts must be made to make many things work. Leave a preachy tone, speak in a confidential voice and let the child know that you believe in him and know that in the future he will be able to help you and do everything no worse than yourself.

Play their games

If you allow your child to play computer games, you will have to learn it too! And this is not a joke: from time to time, fighting in a virtual duel with a child, you will let him know that you are part of his life. Most likely, you won’t be able to win, but it’s for the best: the baby will understand that, no matter how funny it sounds, you are also a person and have your weaknesses. In addition, both of you will have fun when you realize how restless you are in things simple for the child. However, the matter of time, fun hour: to limit the time spent in front of the computer still need.

Come up with traditions

We do not urge you to teach your child to enjoy just eating: this is wrong. But almost all children love sweets or flour. So let them get it completely sanctioned once a week! Think of it, for example, every Saturday, together you make pizza or a chocolate cocktail, donuts or homemade burgers, and then watch some comedy together, eating your own masterpieces. Of course, the point is not in food, but in the priceless moments that you create with the baby.

Believe me, the child will forever remember these evenings and the smell of dishes shared with you, and as an adult, he will often remember these pleasant moments. After all, we each have such memories: someone – modeling dumplings with his grandmother, and someone – cooking jam in a huge basin.

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