20.04.2021

7 mistakes of parents who devalue study and school in the eyes of first graders

The opinion of parents has a huge impact on children, and not only while they are small. When your newly minted student encounters the first difficulties, you will largely shape his attitude to teachers and study: with your thoughts, statements and tone.

Area of ​​responsibility

Often we don’t even keep track of which comments we release to teachers. To criticize the actions of teachers, to be surprised at the unreasonable structure of the educational system, to question school requirements are our favorite pastimes. If children are present at such conversations, be sure: they will not miss a single word of ours. And the conclusions that they will make will affect their attitude to school and study. Here are our most common mistakes to avoid.

Mistake number 1: speak negatively about school with children

The child’s attitude to school is laid long before September 1. In one way or another, we all transmit to our children our own attitude to school, whether in superficial conversations or in intimate conversations, depending on what impressions we made from that time – positive or negative. Children capture our mood intuitively, so it is very important to monitor your words and intonations. When a child needs to refrain from harsh statements about the existing educational system.

Find like-minded people and discuss these topics as much as you like, but exclusively in their company. And do not tell the child how you were afraid of your first teacher, stood with shaking knees at the blackboard, wept over an undeserved deuce for a dictation.

ERROR No. 2:  getting mad at teachers for homework in grade 1

You will have to follow your statements after the first call. Even if you had good memories of your school years and you managed to “positively” charge your child, situations may arise very soon that will cause you to have a storm of emotions or a wave of indignation. Most often, problems appear when the first homework begins. Although this rarely happens in the first grade, nevertheless, even in a regular school, sometimes teachers still ask their children to work hard after school. Such a turn should be taken positively. The most important thing you should remember: in the first place is the child and his psychological comfort. It is better to keep your own opinion on this matter.

If you are with a child loudly resent the “illegal” initiative of the teacher and give comments like: “How can you! Children are still small, they get tired! “, “The child himself can’t do it, but I disappear for days at work, I also have no strength and no time for it!”, The children will quickly draw conclusions. And at some point they simply reproduce your own words and tell the teacher directly: “I will not do my homework, because by law you have no right to give it!”

Needless to say, in such conditions it will be difficult for a child to believe in the authority of a teacher and adopt an adequate attitude to learning. In a situation where two out of 30 children become renegades and go against the system (naturally, this always happens with the support of parents), socialization is also very difficult. Classmates will look askance at the “saboteurs”, and conflicts will begin.

And at some point they simply reproduce your own words and tell the teacher directly: “I will not do my homework, because by law you have no right to give it!” Needless to say, under such conditions it will be difficult for a child to believe in the authority of a teacher and adopt an adequate attitude to learning. In a situation where two out of 30 children become renegades and go against the system (naturally, this always happens with the support of parents), socialization is also very difficult.

Classmates will look askance at the “saboteurs”, and conflicts will begin. And at some point they will simply reproduce your own words and tell the teacher directly: “I will not do my homework, because by law you have no right to give it!” Needless to say, under such conditions it will be difficult for a child to believe in the authority of a teacher and adopt an adequate attitude to learning. In a situation where two out of 30 children become renegades and go against the system (naturally, this always happens with the support of parents), socialization is also very difficult.

Classmates will look askance at the “saboteurs”, and conflicts will begin. when two out of 30 children become renegades and go against the system (naturally, this always happens with the support of parents), socialization is also very difficult. Classmates will look askance at the “saboteurs”, and conflicts will begin. when two out of 30 children become renegades and go against the system (naturally, this always happens with the support of parents), socialization is also very difficult. Classmates will look askance at the “saboteurs”, and conflicts will begin.

Only positive!

Try to remember happy moments and tell your child about them. In the end, the school is not only teachers and studies, it is also friends and your personal achievements. Perhaps you played candy wrappers at recess, cooked cheesecakes with the whole class, and won the physical education olympiad. These stories will help you create a romantic halo around the school.

Mistake # 3:  requiring a teacher to pay extra attention to his child

Many parents lead their child to school, thinking that they have a special one and are better prepared than all other children. Naturally, they expect the teacher to notice this from the first days and begin to clearly highlight their child. If this does not happen (and this is what usually happens), the parents are surprised at first, and then they begin to resent.

A stream of complaints is pouring on the teacher: “Why do you rarely ask him in class?”, “She prepared so well at home, but you didn’t even praise her!” In addition to your child, the teacher in the classroom has 28 more people. He is physically unable to interrogate all the children who are well prepared. It is better to relax from the very beginning and warn the child in advance that he will constantly get into such a situation, and this is normal.

Mistake # 4:  criticizing a teacher

Today, parents have the opportunity to choose a teacher, but it happens that in reality our expectations are not met. However, to complain about the teacher, the more openly accuse him of incompetence, is pointless. You simply will not be heard. Evaluate the level of professionalism of a teacher is entitled to either a certification committee, or his colleagues. Dot.

Better remember that the teacher needs to maintain his authority in the eyes of the students, so give up “subversive activities” for the benefit of all children in the class. And acknowledge, in the end, your responsibility too. Problems at school for a child arise not when the teacher is bad, but when the family does not help him digest this difficulty. A teacher is not a choice of fate, and a bad teacher is not the end of the world.

The attitude to errors can be twofold: traditional or adequate. And only in your power to instill in the baby the correct look at his own mistakes.

Mistake number 5:  thinking that the child will cope with the problem himself

Another primary task for each first grader is to develop a sense of their own competence. Only with its presence, the child will want to continue to receive knowledge and strive for good results. Now in the first grade they do not give us the usual scores, but indirect ones in the form of the sun, stars or clouds. But guessing what they mean is easy. When a child begins to get too many pimples, a sense of self-competence does not form. The child quickly loses faith in himself and stops trying.

Some parents at this moment adhere to the motto “Pass by itself”. But this approach is wrong. If you notice that your child is not successful at school, you need to act immediately while the iron is hot. You have two ways: either to explain the material you learned at home together, or to urgently find the area where he is successful, and do not skimp on praise. The main thing now is to broadcast the thought: “I believe in you, and I’m close. Cheer up! We can handle this. You will succeed! ”

Mistake number 6:  try to fill the day of the child with additional activities

If parents do not have the opportunity to pick up their child from school after school or have the ambition to bring up a genius, after class they take him in circles or give him for an extension. Literate teachers even before September 1 ask mothers and fathers not to do this. If both parents work, it is very difficult to come up with something, but it’s better to strain all the resources right now. If a child’s day is saturated to the limit besides school, all his energy is spent on getting used to new circles and sections.

And there is no power left for mastering the school curriculum. The child begins to become very tired and lag behind classmates even more. Parents in this case very often transfer the blame to the teacher. Instead, it would be wiser to analyze how you organized your little one’s leisure. Remember the golden rule: if a child has problems with mastering knowledge, the first thing to do is

Perfect scenario

Ideally, during the entire period of adaptation to the school, which usually lasts 3-4 months, and sometimes the whole school year, you need to pick up the child immediately after school. The most reasonable way to take his leisure time is to provide moderate physical activity. You can just walk for two hours, you can send the child to the pool or to an amateur sports club. It is very important that the child moves a lot, because the children are sitting at school. This is a real test for them, and they get very tired of it, and when tired, they absorb the material poorly.

Mistake number 7:  undermine the authority of a teacher, even in small things

Another way to undermine a constructive dialogue with a teacher is to respond to any of his demands to promote his own ideas. If you were asked to buy 12 colored pencils, you buy 24 pencils, they say to you: “Let the child write with a ballpoint pen,” and you give him a gel, etc. Such disobedience in the details shows that you don’t hear the teacher (which is insulting and unpleasantly) and undermine his authority in the eyes of your child and his classmates. But this is not your “little victory” at all, this is your defeat, very large and far-reaching. In the first grade, the most important thing that every child should learn is to accept the demands of the teacher and school.

Only by firmly mastering this rule of the game, will the child be able to safely adapt to the school and perceive its code adequately. The teacher should be an authority for children, and for this you will have to implicitly fulfill his requirements, even in small things. Otherwise, the child will not be able to perceive the teacher as a translator of the rules and in the future, for 11 years, he will treat the school as hard labor.

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