Births in which, together with the woman in labor, in addition to the medical staff, there is a person close to her, are called partner or joint. In most cases, the partner in childbirth is the father of the child, but there are no restrictions on the personality of the accompanying person. This may be a mother, girlfriend, sister or any other person who is fully trusted by a woman. The main thing is that this person has an idea of the birth process and can provide the necessary support, both moral and physical.
Partnership delivery in our country has appeared and has become popular relatively recently. However, abroad, especially in Western Europe and North America, childbirth with her husband has been practiced for a long time and managed to prove themselves in the best way.
Despite this, many couples are still not ready to try, and relate to this phenomenon rather negatively. The reason for this attitude is the lack of information and the lack of available materials on the topic, courses and consultations.
However, childbirth is one of the most important events in your life, so you need to approach the preparation and all organizational issues as responsibly as possible.
Joint birth – what is it?
The fact is that a doctor and a midwife can not always be present at childbirth from beginning to end. They come when their presence is necessary. However, in moments when they are not there, a woman in labor may need help. A partner can significantly help: entertain, distract, bring water, call a doctor, remind you of proper breathing – these are not all partner functions. The moral support of a loved one is also important in a stressful situation, which, without a doubt, is childbirth.
It seems that when choosing how the birth will take place, the scales are clearly leaning towards a partner birth. However, not everything is so simple. It is necessary to discuss all the nuances with a partner and carefully evaluate all the pros and cons.
To insist or not?
For such a crucial event as childbirth, you need to prepare in advance. Choosing a maternity hospital and a doctor, the method of childbirth, preparing everything you need in the hospital and in the nursery takes time. No less time is needed in order to psychologically prepare for the process, and not only for the woman, but also for her partner. Therefore, the sooner you decide whether you want a partner birth, the better.
In order for childbirth, partnership or not, to be successful and without complications, the psychological comfort of a woman is very important. And her emotional state is very dependent on the atmosphere and the people creating this atmosphere. Before you offer your husband or other loved one to be your partner, decide whether you yourself want the presence of a partner. Listen to yourself. Will you feel comfortable in the presence of your husband? Or will it only confuse and interfere with focus? Only having decided the question of your own comfort, offer the idea of joint birth to a partner.
Do not despair if your husband is not immediately delighted. Do not reproach and do not be offended, so you only set him up against being present at the birth. Listen to his arguments, and try to figure it out together. Perhaps everything that he knew about childbirth, he learned from feature films that are far from reality. Watch a documentary and an informational movie together, do not go courses, talk with your doctor. Explain how important the support of a loved one is to you, and what exactly do you expect from him. If he still remains in his opinion, do not insist. A frightened and dissatisfied partner in childbirth is much worse than giving birth without a partner.
If you still find that the pros for you outweigh the possible arguments against, and make a mutual decision to choose a partner birth, most likely you will not regret it. And your partner will be able to share the unique emotions that accompany the wonderful process of the birth of your child.
Delivery scenario options
So, you have already determined that you are considering only affiliate programs for childbirth and the hospital that provide them. But still worry and worry that the stress for you and your man will be excessive, and that this will negatively affect your relationship. First of all, calm down. Everything is not so scary at all. There are, for example, several scenarios in which partner births can occur.
The first option – the husband is close to the onset of labor and up to the application of the newborn to the chest. Initially, this option is chosen by couples who are confident in their relationship. Particularly brave men even decide to cut the umbilical cord. Such support is very important and necessary. However, if the man is against, there are other options.
The second option implies the presence of a partner during fights, but at the time of the attempts and the birth of the child, the husband is asked to leave to protect him from unnecessary details. However, the father is called at the time the baby is applied to the chest. Many couples initially choose this option, however, despite this, often a man stays with his beloved woman to the end.
Another option is a cross between the first and second options. In order for the man to support the woman during the attempts and the appearance of the baby, but did not see the “bloody details”, they use a screen.
Tips & Tricks
If you have chosen a partner birth, you should consider several points.
First, talk to your doctor about this topic in advance, and find out if this is possible in your hospital. If the doctor does not mind, check the conditions and cost. Please note that the maternity hospital most often has certain requirements for the partner. For example, the necessary health certificates. They should also be prepared in advance.
The partner during labor must be an active participant in the process. He will have to survive the birth together with the woman in labor, quickly and without unnecessary disputes to fulfill all her requests and recommendations of doctors. Having agreed to a partner birth, a person should be ready for everything: to massage, perform breathing exercises, and even dance or sing if necessary.
Choosing a doctor who will take birth, you must remember that this person will have to trust unconditionally. But still it is worthwhile to take an interest in the doctor’s state of affairs and current manipulations from time to time. This information will come in handy in the future. Given the condition of the woman, it is good if the partner will do this. If the questions are polite and unobtrusive, the doctor will not mind answering them.
Now let us dwell in more detail on what are the “partnership” responsibilities. Some time before delivery, the partner should become familiar with the theoretical foundations of the process. If possible, it is advisable to resemble the courses of young parents, especially the classes on the topic of partner birth. Sometimes they are carried out at the hospital or maternity welfare. More about the school of expectant mothers and dads?
However, in many cities there are no courses, or their cost is too high. In this case, you can consult a doctor who will take birth, ask for advice on choosing literature or training films.
What can help a loved one directly during childbirth? The most basic thing is to give a feeling of comfort and security. The necessary partnership support and care will be expressed in confident and calm behavior, gentle touches, kisses and careful hugs. At the same time, we must not forget that giving birth to a woman is a very difficult test, which is one hundred percent impossible to prepare for. Therefore, it is necessary to listen carefully and fulfill all the requests of the woman. She may even ask just to leave her alone. Do not be offended, partner birth requires an understanding and willingness from the partner to fulfill all requests and requirements.
A woman in labor may also require physical support. For example, massage of the lower back or sacrum helps some women during contractions, someone feels better on fitball or on the Swedish wall. At the same time leaning on a partner is sometimes simply necessary. It is also important to learn breathing techniques and remind a woman of them while breathing together.
Despite the complexity of the situation, stress and pain, remember that having a baby is the greatest happiness that you will come to together, hand in hand, and this will make the moment of meeting a new person even more touching and joyful. Therefore, keep a positive attitude, and pass it on to each other. And do not forget to bring a camera with you to the Rodzal to capture the first minutes of a new life.